ELEPHANT STILL MISSING

Revisiting the missing elephant

2009-03-08T00:34:00.000-08:00

I've been on Blogger since 2002, and last posted here in 2006, and I've since forgotten my log-in details here, and asking Blogger now to allow me to access these blogs has been like asking to recover an earlier version of myself.

Facebook has kind of made obsolete my use of Flickr and Blogger (there's 'Photos' and 'Notes' on Facebook already, see?). I know we've all been busy and everyone went through a lot of changes. But anyway, when JB posted the old elephant link on Facebook, I became curious enough to visit the blog again.

I don't really listen to music while reading Murakami, or any book for that matter. I can read more (and be brought someplace else more, through words) in silence.

Last year I read Joel's copy of 'After Dark', and really liked it! Still Murakami, but now more cinematic. I've added a few more authors in my list of faves, but when I read something new or old from Murakami, I'm reminded of why he's still a favorite. I'd still like to meet him in person someday.

Indi, I can't believe you didn't grab the chance to see Bjork! But I understood when you said you didn't want to deal with the crowds or the mud. I'm feeling the same way, I checked online a while back and saw Franz Ferdinand has a string of shows in Europe (Amsterdam included, of course) to support their new album, but I hadn't checked early enough and now they're either sold out or there's few seats left. But I just shrugged to myself, Oh well. The ticket cost more than 30 euro; that's almost 2 weeks worth of groceries, or a cheap round-trip Ryanair flight. I realized I was more excited catching the 'Van Gogh and the Colors of the Night' exhibit. Does this have to do with growing older?

Anyhow, I'll be visiting you next month. Can't wait to see you again! And finally meet your hubby. Last time I saw you was Denmark, November 2007. Bilis ng panahon. Mukhang OK naman ang UK visa. Can't wait for April! All my exams and essays should be done by then. :-)

Haruki Murakami Music Page

2008-08-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

Probably old news to most of you guys but I don't really keep updated so I only just discovered this. What I'd like to know is what you guys listen to while reading Murakami :-)

Dario Argento's Mother of Tears

2007-09-30T15:04:00.000-07:00

Dario Argento is my mentor of sorts. His horror movies have formed, what I think, most of my oeuvres (which is to say, more disembowelments!), and the films have a certain poetic and lyrical style that I really can't pin down. Mother of Tears, the last of his trilogy about three witches which started with Suspiria and Inferno, is currently showing in other parts of the world. I hope they show it here though. ;P (btw, watch Suspiria and Inferno and see how crazy these movies are!)

From Jazz Messenger by Haruki Murakami

2007-07-06T15:24:00.001-07:00

(Thanks to my Tatay for sending me the link.)

...Practically everything I know about writing, then, I learned from music. It may sound paradoxical to say so, but if I had not been so obsessed with music, I might not have become a novelist. Even now, almost 30 years later, I continue to learn a great deal about writing from good music. My style is as deeply influenced by Charlie Parker’s repeated freewheeling riffs, say, as by F. Scott Fitzgerald’s elegantly flowing prose. And I still take the quality of continual self-renewal in Miles Davis’s music as a literary model.

One of my all-time favorite jazz pianists is Thelonious Monk. Once, when someone asked him how he managed to get a certain special sound out of the piano, Monk pointed to the keyboard and said: “It can’t be any new note. When you look at the keyboard, all the notes are there already. But if you mean a note enough, it will sound different. You got to pick the notes you really mean!”

I often recall these words when I am writing, and I think to myself, “It’s true. There aren’t any new words. Our job is to give new meanings and special overtones to absolutely ordinary words.” I find the thought reassuring. It means that vast, unknown stretches still lie before us, fertile territories just waiting for us to cultivate them.

- from Murakami's essay as featured in the New York Times, translated by Jay rubin.

The last Murakami book I read was Kafka on the Shore, sent to me by the wonderful Jojoes of Cornell when it first came out. Kafka reminded me of Gaiman/Sandman’s A Game of You. For some reason, I wasn’t compelled to run to Fully Booked to grab a fresh copy of Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman but I saw the film version of the short story Tony Takitani, thanks to Baryon (who with the help of Toronto’s China Town DVD pirates, has also my kept my Tadanobu Asano in Cafe Lumiere / stories-that-go-nowhere fixation at bay). Anyway, the Takitani flick was elegant and sad just like the collection of posh shoes and clothes it featured. From that point perhaps I was finally detoxed from Murakami. Or so I thought. But now I have this desire to catch up on ol’ Haruki’s writing by reading After Dark. The reviews on Amazon UK look promising (e.g. “how the city was more of a character than in many of his other novels..etc.”) Jazz as the soul of the urban and HM’s twists of surrealism are a sublime fusion, IMHO. Incidentally, since the Elephant blog is kinda in a coma, am cross-posting this there. Heh. Wala lang.

As for jazz, I’ve been to two free gigs recently and they were quite cosy. The first one was at this pub over at Belsize Park. The band was called Titanic Syncopators with Peta Webb (heh, well) and they played 1920’s and 1930’s Hotcha. The band leader was a trumpeteer and his mates were an alto sax guy and two guitarists and a drummer. Peta Webb was cool but not too detached to smile at the crowd. Their more laid-back versions of On the Sunny Side of the Street and Love me or Leave Me covered on a still sunny evening, were perfect for the venue where, I think, aside from the bartenders, and two perfectly-behaved resident hounds, Aldo and I and another pair of non-regulars who strayed in were the only ones below 50. (Which seemed to balance out our earlier trip to Camden Market where we seemed to be the only ones in our thirties, as everyone on the street was younger, heh.)

The second jazzy gig I caught in London on Aldo’s birthday was the Ingrid Laubrock duo. Laubrock is an alto saxophonist and her partner that day was Chris Wells on piano. On the Waterloo bridge outside, rain started pouring. Inside, music by Thelonius Monk just flowed for free as people went in for mere shelter, the press photo exhibit or the theatre, while others drunk beer and munched on their tuna-cucumber whatever sandwiches. Some peeps actually listened and enjoyed the performance.

Nyak, what is happening to me? Am blogging about jazz instead of attending the Roskilde festival (which I am vicariously experiencing thru Abby’s weatherproof dispatches). I haven’t forgiven myself for missing the chance to see Bjork, Arcade Fire, Muse, and the Beastie Boys. Then again, am feeling just a bit too unfit for a bivouac right now. Perhaps I could still catch one or two of them acts in some other concert sans the mud. Hay ang lola ko na.

Literature Map!

2006-08-03T23:57:00.000-07:00

here!

Happy Birthday Luis!!!!!!

2006-07-26T03:10:00.000-07:00

2006-07-20T01:55:00.000-07:00

what artist should paint your portrait?

2006-07-17T01:50:00.000-07:00

Who Should Paint You: M.C. Escher

Open and raw, you would let your true self show for your portrait. And even if your painting turned out a bit dark, it would be honest.

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

Heeeee-kah! Woohoo!

2006-07-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

Congrats to Waya and Lala G. for winning 1st prize in the comics category of the 1st Philippine Graphic Fiction Awards. Yeeeha! PDF link to the winning opus: The Sad, Mad, Incredible but True Adventures of Hika Girl

SHAMELESS PLUG: New Books Out!!

2006-07-13T20:36:00.000-07:00

mass launch in UP Diliman Faculty Centre, from 17 to 21 July 2006 - only P85 per book - click on the covers for more information

Gondry-licious

2006-07-12T22:43:00.000-07:00

The Science of Sleep site.
The Science of Sleep trailer.

Awwwww.

Ateneo writers workshop now accepting submissions

2006-06-10T09:17:00.000-07:00

(mula kay vlad)

The Ateneo Institute for Literary Arts and Practices (AILAP) is now accepting applications to the sixth Ateneo National Writer's Workshop to be held on October 23-28.

Applicants must submit a portfolio of any one of the following in Filipino or in English: five poems, three short stories, or two one-act plays, together with a title page indicating the author's pseudonym and a table of contents. The portfolio must be accompanied by a file of the document(s) saved in a diskette in rich text format (.rtf).

All submissions must also include a sealed envelope containing the author's name, address, contact numbers, and a one-page biodata with a 1x1 ID picture.

Address all entries to Dr. Benilda Santos, Director, Ateneo National Writer's Workshop, c/o Filipino Department, Horacio de la Costa Hall, Ateneo de Manila University, Loyola Heights, Quezon City.

Deadline of submissions is August 4.

For inquiries, please call workshop coordinators Mr. Jelson Capilos and Mr. Yol Jamendang at 426-6001 local 5320-5322.

Bookmarked

2006-05-30T20:11:00.000-07:00

Bookmarked
Originally uploaded by yinyoung.

I like this bookmark my sister got from Crossword bookstore, India. The cat was just too lazy to appreciate it.

yeah, yeah

2006-05-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

macsubliminal?
Originally uploaded by yinyoung.

after years of pointing this out to people (some more sick of hearing about it than others) everytime i passed by the take out counter, i finally had a camera within reach

goodbye, summer

2006-05-22T21:45:00.000-07:00

morions at the beach
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

it's been alternately sunny and gloomy and rainy, and it's been more than a month since that trip and i still haven't written my marinduque travel story. hopefully this photo will remind me of my raket deadlines.

(btw, not all morions are scary or angry during lent. turns out some of them actually like playing volleyball at the beach.)

Instructions For The Inclined, #3

2006-05-15T01:31:00.000-07:00

Instructions For The Inclined, #3: tolerate krip yuson Originally uploaded by Jun Cruz Na Ligas.

Instructions For The Inclined, #s 1 - 2 - 4

los sketches

2006-05-13T20:45:00.000-07:00

los sketches
Originally uploaded by yinyoung.

yey! my copies of the free booklets from portugal came in the mail (tip via adam's post). thanks, mr. paolo patricio!

45ers wallpaper

2006-05-13T13:37:00.000-07:00

45ers wallpaper
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

practiced my rusty photoshop in my new laptop and came up with this wallpaper. photos and effects by docmic. (may 2006)

Hmmm. Inspired by Googling Self....

2006-05-13T07:53:00.000-07:00

via wired

In JPod, you write yourself into the story, or at least a character called Douglas Coupland, who’s a writer. Is it a fair representation of you?
Yes and no. The antiDoug is my response to Google and search engines and archives that never go away. In the future everybody will have their real selves and their shadow self that exists purely inside computers.

Murakomiks

2006-05-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

Look look! It's "a black and white comic based on Murakami Haruki's short story on seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful april morning". Just excerpts, but still interesting to look at. Thanks to Kristine L. for the link. :)

WHERE MURAKAMI ENDS AND RADIOHEAD BEGINS: A COMPARATIVE STUDY - by Samuel JP Shaw

2006-05-03T04:13:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from a post on Exorcising Ghosts:

There are concrete connections between Murakami and Radiohead. That is a fact. However, these concrete connections are not a be all and end all. It’s nice to know that they exist, but it be nice to think that, if they didn’t exist, there would still be grounds on which to build a comparative. In fact, I’m more interested in the invisible associations.
I’ll start, all the same, by briefly going through the concrete connections, in the order that I came across them (not necessarily the order in which they appeared):

Connection 1. Summer 2003. I read in an English music magazine that Thom Yorke has read The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. According to several Internet sources, this was first revealed in an interview around this time made by Rolling Stone magazine, but it is very possible that Yorke mentioned the fact in several interviews, as the book is cited as being an influence on Radiohead’s new album (Hail To The Thief).

Connection 2. Early 2004. In his introduction to a book of short stories he has edited (Birthday Stories, published by Harvill in 2004) Murakami writes the following: ‘These days when I drive my car I put silver-coloured CDs by Radiohead or Blur into the stereo’. I feel a curious satisfaction when I first read this. It proves that both sides are aware of each other.

Connection 3. Early 2005. Murakami’s 2002 novel Kafka on the Shore is at last published in English translation. There are two direct references to Radiohead, made by the main narrator of the story, 15 year old Kafka Tamura. They are, as follows:

(from page 63) ‘In my room I jot down in my diary what I did that day, listen to Radiohead on my Walkman, read a little, and then it’s lights out at eleven.’

(from page 394) ‘Since I ran away I’ve been listening to the same music over and over - Radiohead’s Kid A, Prince’s Greatest Hits.’

Writers, Quit Whining by Garrison Keller on Salon

2006-05-03T02:59:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Earnest for showing me this :D

The biggest whiners are the writers who get prizes and fellowships for writing stuff that's painful to read, and so they accumulate long résumés and few readers and wind up teaching in universities where they inflict their gloomy pretensions on the young. Writers who write for a living don't complain about the difficulty of it. It does nothing for the reader to know you went through 14 drafts of a book, so why mention it?
...People who used to ignore you now treat you with reverence. There is great silence when you natter and pontificate, and people ask the secret of your success. You have become eminent. Inside you feel mischievous and jokey, but other people see you as a laureate, so you learn to harrumph.

Clarity is hard. Honesty can be hard. Comedy is always chancy, but then so is profundity. Sometimes one winds up as the other. Illness is, of course, to be avoided, and also megamalls and meetings involving vice presidents. But writing is not painful, no more so than a round of golf.

errr, showgirls? eeew

2006-05-02T19:34:00.000-07:00

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few. But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky. Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

movie of my life

2006-05-01T12:11:00.000-07:00

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy

In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh. You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum. Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

why did the chicken bomb the -

2006-05-01T05:53:00.000-07:00

why did the chicken bomb the -
Originally uploaded by yinyoung.

tila walang sense of humor mga security peeps

BABAE SA TAG-ARAW: OPEN MIC poetry reading

2006-05-01T05:35:00.000-07:00

babae sa tag-araw, #22
Originally uploaded by Jun Cruz Na Ligas.

Yoohoo! OPEN MIC poetry reading this tuesday may2 9pm at penguin cafe-gallery near remedios circle, malate. still in line with the BABAE SA TAG-ARAW photo exhibit currently running at penguin, this event is free and open to the public.

poets, (especially poetesses) are encouraged to read their poetry or any literary work.

featuring musical performances from Carol Bello of Pinikpikan band and Isha.

In related news, Batang Bhaktapur was also published online here.

My Life As Film Genre

2006-04-29T01:21:00.000-07:00

The Movie Of Your Life Is Film Noir

So what if you're a little nihilistic at times? Life with meaning is highly over-rated. Your best movie matches: Sin City, L. A. Confidential, Blade Runner

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

In Memoriam: Sarge Aguilar (1996 - 2006)

2006-04-28T00:29:00.000-07:00

Sarge Aguilar (1996 - 2006) Originally uploaded by Jun Cruz Na Ligas.

Our Belgian sheepdog, Sarge Aguilar, died from complications of impending liver failure yesterday morning, Thursday, 27 April 2006, at our home in Project Four, Cubao, Quezon City. He was ten years old.

He was only a year or so when he was given to my brother, back when he was still a rockstar. Sarge was the worse of the litter, having a bad left hind leg from an accident with his mother's cage gate. He wasn't the marketable sort, having a bad limp, so the owner ust decided to give him off instead of just selling him. I guess he thought he wasn't worth anything much.

On the outset, he had always been a rather dim dog, and a bit cross-eyed, too. I would toss him food and instead of catching it in mid-air with his mouth, he'd let it hit him on the face and let it drop to the floor where he'd lick it off with his long pink tongue. Due to his bad hind leg, he would piss standing up, instead of the usual doggie way of one-leg-raised-up-high-against-the-wall.

Back when my mother and I were still living in a haunted bedsit in 20th Avenue, Cubao, I'd often take Sarge out for runs up and down the Project Four streets. He was a great runner, and I'd often be the first one to get cramps, which was a bit pathetic seeing as I used to run in decathlons. Running with Sarge was always fun, as it's especially entertaining seeing potbellied grown men and nubile young women scream like nuns whenever they see us running down the street. I imagine Sarge looked like nightmare incarnate, Yoshitaka Amano's watercolour rendition of Morpheus as fox deity, a big black dog with long flowing hair, the only whites were his teeth, which were long and fierce.

When my mother and I moved to a real bungalow-type apartment, in 2000 - 2001, Sarge would be untethered and free to roam the urban garden setup the landlady provided us with. Indi and I enjoyed plenty of scorching hot summer afternoons giving Sarge a bath in the apartment's garage's watering area. With his hair all wet and matted, he would resemble a very large and filthily wet sewer rat. My mother would trim Sarge's hair regularly, Philippines being a tropical country and Sarge being of slightly Gallic descent, we had a feeling he needed that sort of regular maintenance.

Sarge had a pretty high tolerance for pain. My brother would sometimes pinch a large section of his flesh, waiting for him to yelp, but none would come. In fact, when the neighbourhood veterinarian inserted a needle in his arm, for the dextrose tube, Sarge didn't even fidget. He barely barked, and was always friendly with people, even with strangers. He was always hungry for attention, would show a healthy amount of it to anyone who was willing to do the same for him.

He would limp badly whenever it got too cold for him. He would sissily cower from lightning storms and firecracker explosions. Every New Year's Eve, he would often dig holes in the yard, probably intended as dugouts from all the pomp and circumstance we Filipinos are crazy about.

His last year wasn't too kind for him. He was consistently malnourished, and spent a majority of the year chained to the garage gate. As the years went by, the walks became infrequent, and by 2005 it dropped altogether. The hair on his snout started turning silver, and his weight visibly dropped. The tick population suddenly boosted to a number comparable to a quarter of his skin area.

Yet despite all this, his old vibrant personality (he always was such a shiny happy sunny dog) would still shine through.

My mother and I gave him a bath the morning of the day before he died. He pissed and shat himself while sprawled on the makeshift gurney my mother built for him. His legs swell out of proportion a few days before so standing up was too much of a pain for him, so whenever he had to go, he just let himself go right then and there. "I've turned into a canine caregiver," my mother remarked quite a few times while she was washing Sarge's ass. I jokingly hosed down his balls and ass with the garden hose, whose water he gnashingly bit because of all the pain it was giving him.

The night before he died, the vet voiced out something that had been nagging me the couple of days leading to his death: that Sarge might not make it by the end of the week.

My mother refused to give up, of course. She asked me to help her give Sarge some capsules for his stomach. I held his mouth open as my mother let a capsule drop down his throat. He was still very strong that night, turning his head left to right, refusing to be held down against his will. After I released him, he gave me this look, as if saying "What the fuck, Adam? My balls are big and dry as mottled potatoes and I smell like a fucking public street corner urinal, and yet you hold me down and force my mouth open so you can give me some capsules that would theoretically help me shit? What's up with that, man? Where's the dignity due me? Where's the love? What the fuck, man? What the fuck?". All I could give him was a thumbs-up as encouragement.

And then in the morning my mother found him dead in his gurney, his head arched down to the floor. Spittle was gathering into a small pool by his snout. Bluebottles were already gathering around, ready to feast.

My mother and I dug a hole in a small rectangle of soil under her window. We dug in an awkward angle as we couldn't fit ourselves properly into the space between the window grills and the dirt. The hole was three-feet deep, one foot wide, five feet long. It took us a good two hours to dig the hole. We did it in shifts: one would do the main digging while the other would shovel the turned soil into a great big pile off to the side. We even found a few bones from one other dog who died in our Kalantiaw home. I had a feeling it was Roxy, a brown vixenish mongrel I brought to Kalantiaw fifteen years ago. She died from a gunshot wound to the head, via my Uncle Joe's handgun. Roxy accidentally drank some paint thinner a week prior to the mercy killing. It was my other uncle, Uncle Wowie, who buried the dog, as my mother and I agreed that he was that kind of guy. Uncle Wowie died of complications from colorectal cancer back in 1997. It would be the same disease I would be displaying the early symptoms of a couple of days after my twenty-fourth birthday. I still haven't gotten that check-up I promised myself.

My mother and I wrapped Sarge in bubble wrap, tied him down with straw. We then put him inside two black garbage bags, and tied him down again with more straw. We were both crying. He was still warm to the touch, and still smelled like how he used to smell, like he'd just sunned himself in the beach.

I carried Sarge's body to his grave. One foot in his grave, I carefully lowered him into the hole. I laid his head up against a bump in the soil, as pillow. In the end, he was surprisingly heavy, not like how he used to be when he was alive.

Sarge was family, through and through. He'd been with us during our bad days, he'd been with us during our better ones. He was given to us, but he was born an Aguilar: he had a fondness to drinking and eating and laying about in the house, preferably ni front of the electric fan, doing nothing; he was socially inept and never had a girlfriend in his life, never even had sex wth anyone or anything, canine or human limb; consciously ignoring his potential out of issues with his parents, who've mentally and physically scarred him for life way back when he was still a pup. In all of these things, and more, he was a true blue Aguilar.

Sarge: I'm sorry I wasn't able to give you your runs like how I used to way back when we were both still young and strong and without girlfriends. You are already sorely woefully missed by everyone. I can only hope that the afterlife is a better place for you.

Plug: Babae Sa Tag-Araw: PhotoExhibit at Penguin Cafe

2006-04-26T00:57:00.000-07:00

babae sa tag-araw, #13 Originally uploaded by Jun Cruz Na Ligas.

Indi Endaya's (with Carol Bello, and Libay Cantor, and Len Familara) first, where you'll find this rather large photograph of these Nepali girls, with a dymo'd story running underneath about Babbage, the Father of the Computer (background on the story: it's true, and I think Arthur Clarke's campaign to modernize India has trickled up to Nepal, and that he has something to do with Indi's anecdote).

Also, vandalism is encouraged by the artist, via stacks of post-its left near the portraits, so people can leave their own notes or whathaveyous on the portraits themselves. I wrote one that said "Pag-Ibig Ko'y Nepal!" and only one viewer got the reference. Anyway, Indi's project is pretty clever.

You can go here to take an amateurish virtual photomosaic tour of the exhibit.

And you can go here to see some photographs taken during the 25 April 2006 launching. Just click through the links. Friends and family and people we didn't know! Also, there was this boring band who played an awful awful absolutely awful cover of Pearl Jam's "Black". Really awful.

At any rate, if you're in the area, check the place out. Penguin Cafe, Malate. The exhibit'll be there for a month.

Punta kayo, ha.

2006-04-23T20:22:00.000-07:00

Please come to the launching of:
BABAE SA TAG-ARAW
women romancing the senses: a photo exhibit

TUESDAY
25 April 2006

8:30 p.m.
Penguin Cafe (Rock Ola Cafe)
Remedios Circle Malate

Featuring the works of:
-------------------------------
Carol Bello: i love
Damdamin : Capturing emotionscapes of people and nature. Known more as the vocalist-chantress of Pinikpikan band, Carol's interest in development issues and rights, performing arts, indigenous communities, volunteerism, feminisms, nature, and spiritual sensuality fuel her motivations in pursuing photography as another venue of _expression of thoughts and emotions.

Libay Linsangan Cantor:Zoom In/Zoom Out
Nothing escapes her eyes. Libay is a keen observer of life and non-life, and a prolific orator of fact and fiction, image or word. Zoom in or out. Libay is a film writer and broadcast director, faculty at the University of the Philippines Film Institute, two-time Palanca awardee for her short stories, poet and staunch guardian of sexual rights.

Indira Endaya: Sense of *Wander*
Indi has made some improvisations on lo-res travel portraits using freeware (called the Rasterbator 1.2 and the GIMP 2.3.8.;) juxtaposing the manipulated images with memoir-ish messages on Dymo tape. Indi works as Media Specialist for the School for the Deaf at DLS-CSB after years of broadcast work on both the FM and AM bands and as project officer of Isis International-Manila.

Aileen Familara: Urban Sense
Sentimental urbanite. Found texts in urban environment, jarring contexts, the absurd, the non-sequitur. Aileen is currently working at Isis International-Manila, a women's information-communication non-government organization. Also a writer, visual artist and IT enthusiast, her various interests intersect and inform her photo and art works.

----------------

Music by Carol Bello and other artists. Those who want to jam afterwards can do so. Cocktails will be served. Thanks!

theater of cruelty

2006-04-20T03:27:00.000-07:00

theater of cruelty
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

the dramatist allan lopez gets his own dose of theater of cruelty. (baguio, april 2006)

After Dinner After a Long Workshop Day

2006-04-10T03:25:00.000-07:00

After Dinner After a Long Workshop Day
Originally uploaded by paolomanalo.

i miss the workshop life already! i haven't uploaded my pics yet. these pics c/o maolo panalo.

Feedin' my head

2006-04-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

Donna Haraway's Cyborg Manifesto in web comix!

2006-03-19T04:30:00.000-08:00

Missing

Long time no post. As you guys probably know, I do most of my blogging at my so-called music-related blog, here. But I wanted to post this cute elephant picture (I'm not sure who took it -- maybe Tita Pep; I just found it on my hard drive), and this seemed like the best place for it. :)

Happy Birthday, Adam

2006-03-11T21:56:00.000-08:00

face
Originally uploaded by Jun Cruz Na Ligas.

Uy batiin nyo si Adam, tumanda na rin. heheheh.

Happy Women's month!

2006-03-07T22:24:00.000-08:00

Wheee! One of my digital art projects was selected by Imagining Ourselves! for the month of March.

Visit Imagining Ourselves! Be inspired by an amazing array of films, stories, songs, and photos from young women in every corner of globe. Share your thoughts, get to know your peers on other continents... and take action on some of the most important issues affecting a generation. Don't miss this historic event.

Click here to view my contrib. Link to the book.

i read the news today, oh boy...

2006-02-24T08:02:00.000-08:00

DSC00017
Originally uploaded by ViewmasterEd.

state of national emergency my ass. what a tragic way to celebrate the 20th anniversary of people power. our friend ed, who took these photos near the edsa shrine today, calls it martial law lite. i agree.

2006-02-04T21:32:00.000-08:00

Welcome To The Village: The Youth & Beauty Brigade New Writer Open-Source Manifesto

* redistribute and contribute * - welcome to the village - the new writer sees literary production as a communal activity

- bohemia is dead - the new writer sees literary history as non-linear and open-source

- personal is political - the new writer doesn't shy away from public displays of protest, nor acting as voice behind the bullhorn

- cancellation of reiteration - the new writer avoids to retread pathways already trod by self and peers

- safe zone is no zone - the new writer seeks out subjects outside of immediate sphere of experience/influence

- ban censorship - PC-induced censorship, imposed on self or by external source, is intellectual castration for the new writer

- one person's garbage is another's found object - the new writer uses and abuses tools and formulas abandoned by old writers, spits on them and makes them shine

- categories are for librarians - in new writing, be it protest poem or reportage, flash fiction or hypertext, the pieces work through-and-through regardless of form and intention

- the old ways are dead - forget GRAPHIC and STORY and WOMEN'S WEEKLY, as the only true path for the new writer is self-publishing, be it blog or zine or weekly podcast

- the new writer is an all-trader - learn a minimum of two extra skills, like layout design and image manipulation, camera handling and video editing, melodica and illustration, html and cut-&-paste, as text will never be enough for the new writer

- new media extravaganza - the new writer steals transition segues from comic books and html, character relations/interaction from friendster, local colour from noontime shows, like theater for film, like film for comics, new writing use and re-use imagery and philosophy and techniques from contempo & new media, and likewise, new writing influences contempo & new media imagery, philosophy, and technique

old world placemat

2006-01-28T11:02:00.000-08:00

cosanostra2
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

half-eaten sherbet and garlic bread on an old world placemat. before this, plates of pasta, pizza, and tossed green salad crowded our table. (cosa nostra, malate, jan. 2006)

slow friday night

2006-01-28T10:57:00.000-08:00

cosanostra3
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

slow friday night at cosa nostra, until a few more customers wandered in. (malate, jan. 2006)

2006-01-24T03:34:00.000-08:00

allan and indi

2006-01-22T03:00:00.000-08:00

jologzgateway4
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

allan and indi, 2 of my dumaguete co-fellows. it's been nearly 7 years. now 3 of the jologz are abroad. we miss you guys!

lighting up or breathing fire?

2006-01-22T02:57:00.000-08:00

penguin1
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

joel breathing fire on a slow thursday night in penguin, malate. (jan. 19, 2006)

Belated happy birthday, Mr. Murakami!

2006-01-16T07:38:00.000-08:00

murakami2
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

on jan. 12, i bought BIRTHDAY STORIES at nat'l bookstore shangri-la using my NBS gift check. i'd totally forgotten it was haruki murakami's 57th birthday until i read his introduction.

imagine that. i'd unwittingly bought BIRTHDAY STORIES on his birthday! like what he said in his intro, at that moment, i felt a soft, natural bond with the world. ;)

in the japanese edition of the book, which came out before the british one, murakami had translated into japanese the birthday stories he selected.

i tried googling for BIRTHDAY STORIES reviews but couldn't find any decent ones. i heard it's not really available in the US yet. but here are my thoughts on the book:

- i love the book design
- my fave story is ethan canin's 'angel of mercy, angel of wrath,' cos of its lack of pretension and jaw-droppingly good last line
- it's a fast read. some of it (like 'turning,' where 3 old ladies tell a story to the 4-year-old birthday boy about 'the emperor with no skin') is pretty strange and funny
- some of the stories read like timeless morality tales
- some of the stories are pretty depressing, although some also leave you with the feeling that there's hope for this world yet
- DFW's 'forever overhead' is lovely. i saw the absence of footnotes and started reading it happily
- right now it's php900 at NBS and strangely, php850 at powerbooks, hardbound. so go buy it!

2006-01-12T01:11:00.000-08:00

happy birthday to miranila

2006-01-11T06:06:00.000-08:00

Reasons to download stumble upon:
(forwarded from adam's stumblings, actually
maybe you've seen these before, heh)
meta-loop madness (flash site)
be jackson pollock (flash site)
family timelapse ala Life magazine 1
family timelapse ala Life magazine 2 (siblings) and
family timelapse ala Life magazine 3 (asian edition)
Same difference @lowbright comix!

2006-01-08T17:50:00.000-08:00

happy birthday miss star shuffler!

radio daze 2004

2006-01-07T18:16:00.000-08:00

radio daze 2004
Originally uploaded by yinyoung.

na-mi-miss ko na ata ang radyo.

2006-01-06T20:29:00.000-08:00

new year links

2 from kottke: weird USB drives and bloggers top books of '05
stumble upon (via earnest)
reviews ni juncruznaligas
an upcoming online exhibit ng "young women" chuva na sinalihan ko na magbubukas sa women's day. sali kayo, mga gerlash!

snake-eyes, sans ninja mask

2005-12-31T12:00:00.000-08:00

snake-eyes, sans ninja mask
Originally uploaded by Jun Cruz Na Ligas.

sort of fulfiling, to finally see snake-eyes without his mask on, and so a (nearly) twenty-year-old mystery finally closes as 2006 begins. i can sleep soundly, now. the fireworks have stopped.

so, THAT'S how you pronounce it!!

2005-12-31T11:59:00.000-08:00

so, THAT'S how you pronounce it!!
Originally uploaded by Jun Cruz Na Ligas.

i've been reading the guy for nearly his entire run, and i can't believe how i missed on this one little detail: it's kon-stan-tayn, not kon-stan-teen. i guess i can be excused, as this little panel came from rick veitch's run on SWAMP THING, and still haven't been able to buy that book, but ignorance shouldn't be an excuse. another age-old pop culture revelation for me. it seems all my questions are being answered!! strange...

2005-12-30T14:31:00.000-08:00

si mei ling melancon at ang katibakan ni natalie portman bagong balita mula sa xmen3 ni brett ratner: pinasok na pala si psylocke sa eksena, pero kalaban siya. isang pinay na aktres ang kinuha para gampanan siya, si mei melancon, na huling nakita sa rush hour 2, na dinirek din ni brett ratner, kung saan siya ay kinilala bilang "girl in car". at may mga bagong-labas na litrato si natalie portman mula sa v for vendetta. pinakagusto ko ay ang taas-kamaong evey, na tila kumakanta ng "ako'y pilipino" o ng "bayan ko".

It's still Christmas somewhere...

2005-12-25T09:13:00.000-08:00

xmasparty10
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

Merry Christmas, everyone! (Dedma na sa politically correct holiday greeting chuva ng US.) To spread some holiday cheer, here's a photo of "Tina Turner," "Elvis (Senior)" and "Keanu Reeves" from the Magsaysay Christmas party at the PICC last week. Here's to an even better 2006!

IMG_4024

2005-12-21T22:34:00.000-08:00

IMG_4024
Originally uploaded by jeffkee.

HK cops are easy on the eyes

100_3683

2005-12-20T22:05:00.000-08:00

100_3683
Originally uploaded by yinyoung.

Happy Birthday, Jojo!

2005-12-14T07:07:00.000-08:00

jologz2
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

To the girl with the elephant memory, hope you have a good one. Cheers! Mwah! Love from the Jologz.

2005-12-09T14:15:00.000-08:00

Siglo: Fashown! It's December 10, Saturday, today, according to my little computer clock. That means anyone interested in comics and/or speculative fiction should go to the Greenhills Promenade branch of Fully Booked later at 6:30 PM, where they're launching three books: Siglo: Passion (from Nautilus Comics), Project: Hero (Quest Ventures), and Philippine Speculative Fiction, Vol. 1 (Kestrel). I'm one of the writers of Siglo: Passion -- I wrote a script set in the future, involving artificial realities, real friendships, and a giant guinea pig, that was illustrated by the very skilled Jonas Diego. Other contributors include Gerry Alanguilan, Quark Henares, Dean Alfar, Reno Maniquis, Jeremy Arambulo, Lan Medina, Carlo Vergara, Marco Dimaano, Leinil Francis Yu, etc. According to Click the City: Siglo: Passion is the sequel to the National Book Award-winning anthology Siglo: Freedom. This time around, the book explores the passions of the Filipino people, from food to family, from religion to nation, through twelve stories set across one hundred years of history and beyond. The launch price is Php 500, and it will apparently sell post-launch for Php 850. More on Siglo: Passion at the Nautilus Comics site and Dean's blog. Project: Hero (Php 120), as the name implies, is a comics anthology featuring new Pinoy superheroes, and Philippine Speculative Fiction (Php 300) is a collection of mind-expanding short stories by Cyan Abad-Jugo, Gabriela Lee, Ian Casocot, and Sarge Lacuesta, among others. Be there or be... not there.

tanduay girls

2005-12-08T00:46:00.000-08:00

tanduay girls
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

joel with the tanduay rhum girls at UP writers night last night. he started it, then the other guys followed.

Haruki Murakami @ Tufts

2005-12-05T19:13:00.000-08:00

Haruki Murakami, Tufts
Originally uploaded by lossless.

are you like me — have you ever wondered what murakami was up to in the month of october? and where he was? what he was wearing? ah, alas, a guy named "lossless" on flickr has the answers. and i'm crazy-jealous.

2005-11-30T23:54:00.000-08:00

Games for rocknerds!
at work, earns and i have 43 so far.

2005-11-27T23:58:00.000-08:00

Join The Elias Dakila Story Writing Contest

CANVAS, in partnership with Ilustrador ng Kabataan (Ang I.n.K.) is pleased to launch the Elias Dakila Competition for Children's Storywriting on Environment and Culture.

In 1953, French author Jean Giono was commissioned to write a short story about his most unforgettable character. What resulted was the classic eco-fable The Man Who Planted Trees, which told of the inspiring story of a man who through sheer persistence and diligence, brings hope to a once desolate and devastated province.

That story later moved CANVAS to publish the story of Elias & His Trees, a Filipinized adaptation of Giono's inspiring tale, and now, to work with Ilustrador ng Kabataan (INK) in launching the Elias Dakila Competition for Children's Storywriting on Environment and Culture.

This year, the contest seeks to inspire writers to come up with original short stories for children (ages 6-8) that celebrate the environment and/or Philippine culture, and which are suitable as big, read-aloud books ideal for sharing or reading to groups of children.

The winner will receive a P25,000 cash prize. Deadline for entries is 5pm, Manila time, January 31, 2006.

For more details, and to download the rules, please visit http://www.canvas.ph/upcoming_events.htm.

Thank you and kindly pass this announcement to people you think might be interested.

Best regards, -- CANVAS & Ang I.N.K.

during a bar-hopping spree in timog

2005-11-23T21:32:00.000-08:00

timog3
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

my fab friend igor and his fab T-shirt at napoli resto. (nov. 2005)

2005-11-16T17:15:00.000-08:00

Finally, an award for Nick Hornby (?)

Snub for big beasts as Hornby makes Whitbread shortlist
Nick Hornby, a storyteller dearer to the humour and hearts of the British reading public than almost any literary award winner of the past 40 years, was yesterday accorded a rare accolade. His novel A Long Way Down was shortlisted for the £30,000 Whitbread award in a series of surprise decisions which swept aside authors seen elsewhere as this year's strongest.
. . . . The "very strong novels" by Ishiguro, Barnes, McEwan, Zadie Smith and Banville had all had their champions but had been shot down by persuasive counter-arguments in the judging panel. Gregory added: "We all agreed on our top favourite but I am not allowed to tell you what it is. I have not even told my husband, who is desperate to put a bet on."

Full story from the Guardian here.

2005-11-15T01:07:00.000-08:00

yo, joe! happy birthday, lolo jose!

Dreaming on the page with Haruki Murakami

2005-11-07T01:26:00.000-08:00

murakami1
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

From this week's My Favorite Book contest in PhilStar:

I recognize that despite the various genres he has explored, Murakami has a tendency to repeat himself. But I have yet to encounter another writer who could bend my mind, deal a sharp blow to my heart, and cause me to laugh out loud like this in one sitting.

Full article here. Enjoy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

2005-11-05T22:52:00.000-08:00

orange
Originally uploaded by Jun Cruz Na Ligas.

happy birthday!!

2005-10-30T16:21:00.000-08:00

RANDOM FANDOM

ayan, wala pa akong tulog, at medyo tinatamad pang mag-edit ng video, pero naisipan pa ring mag-post, salamat sa balitang bakla pala si george takei. patawad sa patalun-talon na kamalayan.

sinwerte ako at nakakuha ng kumpletong set ng unang season ng STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES, at ngayo'y tuwang-tuwa sa panonood, sa muling-pagkakilala sa mga paboritong eksena at kuwento (THE CORBOMITE MANEUER, SHORE LEAVE, THE GALILEO SEVEN, at siyempre, THE CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER). hindi ako makapaniwala kung gaano pala kalakas ang impluwensiya ng palabas na ito sa akin dati, at ngayon. mas malakas kaysa sa THE NEXT GENERATION (na sa opinyon ko ay mahina at nakakatamad, kumpara sa ST:TOS) o VOYAGER (na mas katulad ng ST:TOS kaysa sa TNG, kaya pinanood namin ng kuya ko mula umpisa hanggang dulo, ang buong pitong taon ng palabas, nung gabi-gabi itong pinapalabas sa HALLMARK) o XFILES (na kinalimutan ko na matapos ang ika-anim na taon) at MILLENNIUM (na pumapangalawa sa ST:TOS).

hayup talaga ang STAR TREK! tigas-titing scifi na walang kahiya-hiyang pinapamukha sa'yo na scifi siya, na enjoy pa nang todo-todo. mahusay ang pagkakalaad ng exposition, 'di kagaya ng karamihan ng scifi ngayon (gaya ng MATRIX: RELOADED, na punumpuno ng pseudo-masonic exposition na nagpaka-zen sa pagpapaliwanag (ie, pinalabo, sinabing 'di-makukuha sa frame of reference ng tao, etc, na ano nga ba talaga anmg naidagdag tungkol sa katauhan natin, sa pagiging tao?) pero wala naman talagang sinasabi, kasi pati ata 'yung mga gumawa ay hindi alam kung ano ang gusto nilang sabihin) na ang paraan para sabihing scifi siya ay sa pamamagitan ng Q-&-A habang nasa isang montage sequence. walang papormang cyberpunk hullabaloos.

kaya ata mas gusto ko ang COWBOY BEBOP at EVANGELION kaysa sa GHOST IN THE SHELL o MATRIX o LAIN, dahil mismo sa tigas-titing scifi ng STAR TREK, 'di nahihiyang magpaka so-co (well, 'di-gaano sa BEBOP (pero tigas-titi pa rin siya, at enjoy), at internal naman sa EVA, pero lubus-lubusan talaga sa STAR TREK), 'di-nahihiyang sabihing "SCIFI AKO!!" pero 'di rin nagpapapansin, 'di-kagaya ng MATRIX o LAIN na nagpapapansin talaga na scifi siya, kasi siguro baka makalimutan mo kaya ipapaalala niya sa iyo nang paulit-ulit. ang metapora siguro diyan ay, ang pagkakaiba sa pagitan ni BUDDY ZABALA at ni DONG ABAY, na parehong musikero na nakatikim na ng "sabaw ng langit", ika nga. ang pagkakaiba sa kanila, 'yung isa me "CAMBIO" sa t-shirt, 'yung isa me "ROCKSTAR AKO".

o baka ako lang 'to, na nagsasawa na sa cyberpunk, at nagiging nostalgic para sa inner/outer space pioneers? kahit sa HEAVY METAL, ganun din ako, e. mas nage-enjoy sa DRUUNA kaysa sa FAAK2.

nakapagbasa pala ako ng pito sa mga local na scifi na mga kuwentong naipasa at nanalo/natalo sa stillborn na kategorya ng palanca na FUTURE FICTION, at nakitang DALAWA lang ang talagang papasa (para sa akin, base sa mga naibanggit kong rason sa itaas) bilang scifi: ang SUBTERRANEA, 'yung kuwento ni Luis na nanalo ng first place, at 'yung MITO NG LUNGSOD ni Jay Fernando, na nanalo din ng first place, na malamang ay ikagagalit ng ibang tao dito, kasi kaibigan ko silang dalawa, pero kasi, magaganda talaga ang mga kuwento nila (sa totoo lang, mas gusto ko 'yung isa kaysa dun sa isa, pero pareho naman silang mahusay), na medyo magkapareho ng diskarte sa pagpapakita ng "FUTURE" sa kanilang "FICTION", parehong masasabing exploration ng inner space ang ginawa nila sa kanilang mga kuwento, pinag-isipan kung paano kaya mag-isip/mag-react ang mga tao limampung-taon mula ngayon. may pagkakaiba ba? o pareho lang? saan tayo aangat? san lulubog? etcetera etcetera etcetera. habang ang mga kasabayan nila'y nagpaka-busy-busy-han sa exposition, sa pagpapakitang-gilas kung gaano kalawak ang kanilang kaalaman sa teknolohiya at imahinasyon at sa kani-kaniyang advocacies, sa kanilang mga ricky lee what-if? scenarios na luma na't napagiwanan na sa comix at pelikula at sa mga libro ng kanilang mga idolo, hinalukay nina Luis at Jay ang sarili, pinakintab ang mga nahanap, at ibinilad ito sa araw.
PS hayup din pala ang LOST.

Jay Rubin wants to know why YOU like Murakami

2005-10-23T17:58:00.000-07:00

murakami2
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

assuming some of you guys are still murakami fans, check this out! got this from scott wildsheep's MSN mailing list. go go go!

"Hi, Kiki, I assume you're still a Murakami fan. I wonder if you can tell me why in a few short sentences (or a paragraph at most), with a brief indication of age and sex and occupation. I'm trying to collect a variety of views from readers. Come to think of it, maybe you could post this request somewhere and have people respond to me at this address." nejimaki60@msn.com

Jay

BOYCOTT NESTLE

2005-10-22T14:19:00.000-07:00

BOYCOTT NESTLE
Originally uploaded by catukayo.

Boycott all nestle products: nescafe, bear brand, nido, nestle cream, nestle ice cream, kitkat, knick knacks, nestle creamer, maggi, at marami pang iba. punyetang monopolyo kapitalismo!

2005-10-18T00:43:00.000-07:00

the Wit
(57% dark, 30% spontaneous, 36% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -

If you're interested, try my latest: The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 59% on darkness
You scored higher than 12% on spontaneity
You scored higher than 47% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

2005-10-10T19:28:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BERNICE !!!

2005-10-06T06:53:00.000-07:00

"Two More Years" by Bloc Party

[saw the vid for this song for the first time this evening on mtv... and got a knife-through-the-heart effect when i heard the new wavey vocals, driving music, and caught snatches of the lyrics. alas, it was something i could relate to, that 'two more years' thing. was thinking, if this song's on their 'silent alarm' cd i'll finally go out and buy it. been thinking of buying it for quite some time now but the stingy side of me always won. ;) anyway, when i googled the lyrics, the effect was somewhat diminished. not like the badly drawn boy lyrics i posted a while back. but then again, the bloc party guys are kids! some of em are younger than me. give em time, and they could well be wordsmiths eventually like mr. damon "badly drawn boy" gough. herewith are the uneven lyrics.]

In two more years, my sweetheart, we will see another view
such longing for the past for such completion
What was once golden has now turned a shade of grey
I've become crueler in your presence

They say: 'be brave, there's a right way and a wrong way'
This pain won't last for ever, this pain won't last for ever

Two more years, there's only two more years
Two more years, there's only two more years
Two more years so hold on

You've cried enough this lifetime, my beloved polar bear
Tears to fill a sea to drown a beacon
To start anew all over, remove those scars from your arms
To start anew all over more enlightened

I know, my love, this is not the only story you can tell
This pain won't last for ever, this pain won't last for ever

Two more years...

You don't need to find answers for questions never asked of you
You don't need to find answers

dead weights and balloons
drag me to you
dead weights and balloons
to sleep in your arms
I've become crueler since I met you
I've become rougher, this world is killing me

we cover our lies with handshakes and smiles
we try to remember our alibis
we tell lies to our parents we hide in their rooms
we bury our secrets in the garden
of course we could never make this love last
I said of course we could never make this love last
the only love we know is love for ourselves
we bury our secrets in the garden.

2005-10-02T19:52:00.000-07:00

Mustn't Miss Mystery Meat

Mystery Meat: 86 artists from the American underground art scene will exhibit their works on paper from October 1 to October 29, 2005 at Future Prospects Art Space in Cubao. The show will include works by Dalek, Doze Green, Matt Leines,Jordin Isip, Barry McGee, Clare Rojas, Neckface, Clayton Brothers, Rich Jacobs, Eric White, Simone Shubuck among others. Their unique visual style is culled from a mix of subcultures of music, skateboarding, graffiti, illustration, and comix. Often identified as the language of street and DIY aesthetics, they have been increasingly gaining acceptance in mainstream galleries and art publications beyond Juxtapoz.

exhibit photo by brenskie from last saturday here

2005-09-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

seairplane

2005-09-20T01:34:00.000-07:00

seairplane
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

our tiny scary seair plane! when we were about to leave manila on a similar plane, not only the passengers were laughing, but the airport staff too. then one of the propellers caught fire. hahaha... (palawan sept. 2005)

beach2

2005-09-20T01:33:00.000-07:00

beach2
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

this was a pretty big starfish that we found there. we brought it back to the sea after taking some pics. (palawan sept. 2005)

found object

2005-09-13T21:38:00.000-07:00

10-08-05_1813
Originally uploaded by johnny panic.

for easy clean-ups of small jobs, use CHUPPA'S CHOICE ... find it at your local grocery store

2005-09-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

Sulat ni Sinedu Tadesse (iyong hindi gumraduate sa Harvard 10 years ago kasi pinatay niya ang roomie niya at nagpakamatay din)

Well, why am I writing this letter? Because I am desperate. Most of my days are long and boring that I drag through them with sigh after sigh. Even the days that I call happy are randomly pierced with pain, realizing that I am laughing standing on thin air. My problem is that I am not bonding with people. I do not make friends not even with my relatives.... I live in my own shell, afraid to reveal my personality and to express my opinions. Although it took me a long time to realize, I am very shy. I blush at every little thing....

The mention of Harvard might make you think, OK she is one of those successful people who made it in life. Unfortunately, I don't feel one tiny bit of the success. Despite the outward glory, I live in pain. All my life I have been plagued with social problems. All my life I have been wondering why I were not as happy or content as even the poorest or the stupidest girls that I have met in my life. I always felt insecure and lonely, especially ever since my father was sent to prison for two years. Starting from that time we were becoming financially poorer and poorer....

As far as I can remember my life has been hellish.... Year after year, I became lonelier and lonelier. I see friends deserting me. They would take every chance to show me that they did not have any love or respect for me. They made me sit by myself when we went for long school trips. I stared out the window while they had fun sitting together. I had to swallow my pride to start talking to them to prevent pitying looks from other students. All this time I was becoming an outstanding student and one not many people knew. High School turned out even worse. I got a scholarship to the best school in the country where the children of the very rich went in a country where the rich & poor could be told apart at one crazy glance. Day in and day out, I cried my head off; I was so lonely. If I went early or left late I would be roaming the yard and deserted hallways alone while other students roared with laughter and talked their hearts out standing in groups. Home was not a comforting place. I swallowed my pain and anguish just as my siblings did to theirs. I was so lonely. But I hung on tight because I wanted to come to the States in hope of a solution. The only way I could do it was through academic excellence, to get scholarship. So I made the best use of my empty days....

Now I don't care about the past.... [But] if I live, I want to be out there in the world. Just like those my age, I want to have friends, eat with friends, spend hours on the telephone, go to parties, and if ever possible, have boyfriends. But I find it so hard. When I am with a group of people, I keep so quiet (I have nothing to say) that I send chills through those who notice me. Then I cry when people forget about me, or dislike being with me. When I am with one person, I shake with nervousness fearing that we will run out of things to say and she or he will be bored. For math I had a teacher; for painting I had a teacher; for social life I had no one....

I write a lot of diaries, I make a cassette recorder listen to my problems, I recite meaningful sayings to give me encouragement, I probe deep into myself to solve emotional pains I go through, I meditate to keep myself stable.... I read true stories in search of solutions & so on & so forth. I don't want to give up & this year I will try harder making use of all the help I can get.... The one help I believe and have always believed would be very crucial for my success is someone who will constantly check in on me & share both the good and bad part of my life with me...one ordinary person who will invite me for jogging or taking a walk, for shopping, for watching TV together, for having dinner together a few times, etc. In these petty, but constant activities, the tips about living that I would pick up, the skills that I would develop and the peace of mind that I would get are immeasurable. After all a pat on the back means a whole lot more than a recorder that squeaks when it is done....

I am like a person who can't swim chocking [sic] for life in a river. You are one of the very few people who see me struggle.... All you have to do is give me a hand and put into words what you already know. No expenses are involved & there are no risks. I am sure one of your concerns, if you have gotten this far in the letter is, what if I am one of those criminals lurking around. But believe me, right now I am not strong enough. I would have been aggressive rather than shy if I was to hurt others. Also, if I had no control over myself, I would not have made it to Harvard all the way from Ethiopia.

All it takes is a few hours from your week and some energy. Me, I have nothing to lose. I am so desperate; please do not close the door in my face. Even if you are not interested, please give this letter to a friend or relative who might be. I would be forever grateful to hear from you.

I anxiously wait to hear from you.

2005-09-05T03:24:00.000-07:00

TESTAMENT: A new comic book series from DC/Vertigo
with a promising take from one of mi favorito thinkers Douglas Rushkoff. (am usually averse to reasons supplied by people who tell me i should get into anything bible-related, but this sounds interesting...)

“This gets to the premise for the book. I’m really sick and tired of the Bible being used by fundamentalists as a way to shut down thinking and inquiry. It just stinks, and it goes against the very premise of the Bible—which is about weird revolutionaries who fight for autonomy against all sorts of oppression. I can’t help but think if any of these people actually read the Bible, they’d rise up against their ministers and smite them on the spot....

As far as the characters in the comic are concerned, the relationship to Bible develops slowly. I don’t want to give too much away or it’ll be less fun for everyone. So let me say that I begin by telling parallel stories. Abraham’s attempted sacrifice of Isaac becomes a parallel for whether or not Alan Stern will implant his son with an RFID tag so he can be tracked for the military draft. Both are examples of father’s sacrificing their sons for false gods....

The other reason for playing with the Bible is to break everyone of the notion that the Bible is filled with all this holy stuff. It’s so not. It’s filled with people killing each other with rocks, men raping men, fathers having sex with their daughters—or offering their daughters to strangers in return for stuff.

And there’s tons of sex magick in there, too, that no one likes to talk about but is completely apparent to anyone who bothers to read the words on the page.... Moses has man-to-man sex up on Mount Sinai. God has fights with other Gods. There are monsters and giants praying to Astarte (basically Kali). There’s aliens having sex with the human women. I mean, you actually read the stuff and your jaw just drops. Abraham did what? And he's a hero?" Interview here.

2005-08-31T08:34:00.000-07:00

TECHNOVELGY

A guitar made of metal and Lucite: This is going to look like something beamed down from a UFO. It'll cost $880 for the two parts and take about a week to make them. Then all I have to do is snap them together and bolt on the neck, bridge, and a few electric components.

At 2 in the morning on a Tuesday, I finally hit the Place Order button. My design shoots off to Lewis' farm of roboticized fabrication machines.

I've just printed a guitar.

MIT professor Neil Gershenfeld calls it the fab revolution - every bit as important as the invention of the personal computer, he says. Cyberspace and PCs made bits flexible; fabrication technology is doing the same thing to atoms. Eventually, he claims, you won't even need a middleman like eMachineShop, because every house will have its own personal fabricator. -Writer Clive Thompson joins the fab Lab" revolution in WIRED.

Ooooh. Almost like Neal Stephenson's Matter Compiler from The Diamond Age.

See more Inventions and Ideas from Science Fiction.

Product Development from 104 SF authors for anyone who enjoys those "Science behind Star Trek/Star Wars" books. Lots of (engadgetty/gizmodoish?) "tomorrow's tech today" sources to be found (e.g. Neal Stephenson's Matter Compiler and Contour Crafting: 3D House Printer; Frank Herbert's Cutteray - and the mining laser; PKD's electric sheep, Ray Bradbury's mechanical arm, brian adldiss's teddy and robotics.Bruce Sterling's Digital Running Shoes and Adidas Micropacers, William Gibson's Vat Grown Meat from Neuromancer and, NASA's experiment on, well, vat grown meat.)

litapp launch 3

2005-08-26T20:04:00.000-07:00

litapp launch 3
Originally uploaded by spiritchild.

2005-08-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

Lovely song, lovely lyrics

The Further I Slide (Badly Drawn Boy)
Starting today we’re on holiday
Everybody sees you in the wrong way
No one else sees you my way
Your gazes cripple me
Keep life a mystery
I don’t want it to change
Just keep 'em coming my way
But that’s all a lie
I can’t rationalise
The further I slide
I can’t seem to get back to your side
’Cos you’re a summer child
And I’m winter mild
I can’t stay with the heat
As you blossom out around me.
What if there is nothing after this?
Your gazes cripple me
Keep life a mystery
I don’t want it to change
Just keep ’em coming my way.

2005-08-22T02:02:00.000-07:00

2005-08-21T02:10:00.000-07:00

You are Wallace Stevens. You love everything, especially the sound of things. Too bad you are so obscure that at times even you don't understand what the hell you have written. Which Famous Modern American Poet Are You? brought to you by Quizilla

at the UP lantern parade, dec. 1997

2005-08-18T20:33:00.000-07:00

lantern2
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

'90s couture check: airwalk sneakers, adidas bag, friendship bracelet, thumb ring, tent-like band T-shirt. the violet spray-on hair color (courtesy of arlyn, shown with pink hair) and urban decay lipstick were added cos we were feeling extra festive. senti trip!

2005-08-16T04:00:00.000-07:00

earnest went to st. scho today and i tagged along. she was managing some dry-run thingie with the Manila Symphony Orchestra and the Rockestra indie bands there. i just wanted to snoop around the damn alma mater.

it felt so strange, going around. i felt like a like a ghost. everything was the same but different and felt smaller. the gothic mental hospital feel was still there. (the corinthian and doric columns, the framed scary sepia photos of dead nuns, the sponge-splatter-painted lower half of the walls, waffled woodwork doors with their chain latches.) even the new buildings had the same old look.

goosebumpy. i walked around to check where the treehouse and the old gym used to be (gone and replaced by a multi-storey building named after yet another benedictine saint.) the long way walk along estrada to gate one was the same only shorter. (my how we've grown.) no more piano music could be heard outside saint cecilia's piano rooms since all the rooms had their windows shut tight and air conditioned, it seems. the old abandoned dilapidated sections - st. maurus and the other "gray areas" my friends and i dubbed 'gateways' (to narnia)and cair paravel lamp posts are now functional campus zones bustling with students practicing their dance steps, killing time while waiting for their sundo .

a dozen years or so years of my life in those cloistered walls. more than a dozen since we left. so many renovations, and yet some things were preserved. i wonder if kids there still have time to dream of and visit parallel universes.

2005-08-12T19:54:00.000-07:00

plugging time:

The Tile Project: Destination, the World

Forum on Collaborative Art Practice, Aug. 17 CCP MKP

The Tile Project: Destination, the World brings over 100 artists from 40 countries together in setting up 22 public art installations exploring informal routes for global cooperation through art made out of portable and accessible materials.

Each of the installations have or are being constructed out of a plurality of materials (ceramics, digital imagery, assemblage, painting) in a portable, square, tile-like format. For the Philippines, CCP Thirteen Artists Awardee Claro Ramirez undertakes a kinetic installation made out of the component tiles sited at the Cultural Center of the Philippines Second Level Staircase Landing Area.

To mark this installation’s first public viewing, a modest public forum called Synch: Forum on Collaborative Practices will be undertaken at the CCP Multi-Purpose Hall, August 17, 1-3 pm. This informal roundtable event brings together Filipino artists from various disciplines and persuasions to come and share experiences about working outside the single author/auteur/artist framework. Coming from a diverse range of engagements in visual arts, performance, film, video, new media, music, and art organizing, the discussion is expected to revolve around notions of control, process, and interaction in relation to concept, and realization of intended reception.

Roundtable participants include Cynthia Alexander (music), Rica Arevalo (film), Yason Banal (performance/alternative spaces/art organizing), Fatima Lasay (new media) and Ramirez (visual arts/installation) who will be sharing about their specific experiences in collaboration. An open forum follows their presentations.

The installation is Transcultural Exchange’s donation to the Cultural Center of the Philippines visual art collection. The Tile Project is made possible by the support of distinguished organizations such as the United Nations Educational, Science and Cultural Organization, the Asian Cultural Council, the Open Society Institute (Soros Foundations Network), and locally through El Kapitan Premium Epoxy.

2005-08-12T01:28:00.000-07:00

Chibi* Jesus

the last pizza

*"Chibi" is a Japanese style of art used in anime, also known as "super-deformed" because the head is much bigger in proportion to the body than usual.-Tomorrowlands

2005-08-12T01:09:00.000-07:00

Kawaii Hindu dieties
Ghee Happy

2005-08-04T22:35:00.000-07:00

Conan O'Brien vs. Bear

2005-08-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

Gurl Goddess
Francesca Lia Block* interviewed on Nerve.com (via bookslut)

Borrowed a copy of Girl Goddess #9 from Myrene in the late 90's. Loved it. Took a couple of years before it became available at National so I could buy it for my galpals. (And later, even Adam got teary-eyed at some point over the Dragons in Manhattan story.) Then I unearthed Weetzie Bat from a booksale bin. 2 snaps and a circle.** I liked Girl Goddess better. Weetzie was more rose-colored and sugary and sweet. In the new book, Necklace of Kisses, Weetzie is 40. Wha-?

*looks like Adam's ma in the Nerve picture.
**Hehe, sorry, i finally got those In Living Color DVDs Earns found in Quiapo.

2005-08-02T07:47:00.000-07:00

"All the J.G. Ballard hagiography you can eat! " - Bruce Sterling

That Dirty Pop Machine!!

2005-07-30T03:33:00.000-07:00

Dirty Pop Machine logo
Originally uploaded by Jun Cruz Na Ligas.

logo design for friend Vlad Gonzales, whose regular communiques can be seen in http://thatdirtypopmachine.blogspot.com/

the Literary Apprentice 2005

2005-07-30T02:21:00.000-07:00

the Literary Apprentice 2005 ads campaign, poster #1
Originally uploaded by Jun Cruz Na Ligas.

the Literary Apprentice 2005

2005-07-30T02:20:00.000-07:00

the Literary Apprentice 2005 ads campaign, poster #2
Originally uploaded by Jun Cruz Na Ligas.

hi all! meet dino.

2005-07-28T18:26:00.000-07:00

dinobed
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

he was born on feb. 17, 2000 and is now five years old. he hasn't been to the vet in a year cos his mom is always so busy. plus he panics when he's inside the car. he sleeps in the living room sala set with a dirty throw pillow under his head. this was taken when dino still wasn't afraid of the camera flash.

murakami1

2005-07-26T21:52:00.000-07:00

murakami1
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

so when are YOU coming over for a signing tour, mr. murakami? :)

michael penn

2005-07-26T21:09:00.000-07:00

michael penn
Originally uploaded by redredwine.

"what if i were romeo in black jeans..."

yay! i'm finally gonna see a michael penn appearance on TV! he'll be on jay leno on august 4 (august 5 manila time) according to this.

missed the bloc party appearance on conan a few weeks back. :( oh and hot hot heat rules!

2005-07-26T18:42:00.000-07:00

Watda?

Download Tizzle Talk for YM to chat like a gangsta!

original text: now wait just one minute, i refuse to speak to him

Ebonics: now wait just one minizzle, dog. I's refuse to speak ta dat dude.

2005-07-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

Why I still heart Douglas Rushkoff:

Were I advising the West's governments, I would tell them that the best way to neutralize the impact of a media virus is to take away its fuel: the unarticulated truth behind the rage and confusion it stokes. This means fessing up to the true history of American involvement in Arab affairs over the past century (it's all in the history books, anyway - it's just a matter of admitting it openly) as well as expressing the West's true fear of losing its access to precious oil, and its apprehension about sharing the planet with people it doesn't understand or trust.-Viral Bombs

Which angle to choose?
That the number of deaths in daily car bombs in Iraq regularly outnumber today's casualties? Do I dare tally Africa in there? The ongoing death toll from Tsunami aftermath?

That every major global event seems to bring a new medium or application into its maturity? The moon landing on TV. OJ Simpson spurred live 24-hour news. 9-11 showed us email. The East Coast blackout revealed the power of cell phones. The Spain bombings and subsequent election disinformation was thwarted by SMS. Now this catastrophe seems to launch Flickr into the mainstream - with photo coverage on the site surpassing what we can see on TV. (Except for the stations that are simply broadcasting flickr photos.) -fr. Blasted Blasts